After penning my last post about my recent trip to Hollyweird, I realized I’d FORGOTTEN one of the main reasons for the aforementioned cyber chapter. So, needless to say, JET LAG, and tending to my Grandmother’s war wounds (long story for another day) is beyond a BITCH…
Anywho, every time I go to Cali, I try to think of a different way to spark a conversation with total strangers regarding my writing, which isn’t exactly easy. It’s not like you can walk up and say,
“Hi, I’m Tenacious Bitch, and I’d like to chat with you about my memoir…” at which point, said stranger would, most likely, mumble something about having a train/cab/aardvark/cyclops to catch…
That said, I decided upon my most outrageous conversation prompter yet…
I asked the concierge at my hotel to take my photo for my blog. Simple task, is it not? But, apparently, this guy had never in his life taken a photo, or…he just REALLY likes to fuck with obnoxious hotel guests who interrupt his game of Angry Birds cuz here’s the pic…
Ahem…yeah, that’s 3/8 of me, I guess, but if he was going to eradicate most of my person, couldn’t he have said, “Stand up straight, honey. You’re slouching, which, you know, makes you look a tad pudgy…” with a SMILE, of course.
Anyway, the photo is a preface to the FUNNY part, ahem…the adornment/advertisement on my suitcase in the photo below…
SHAMELESS self-promotion? Yeah, I got that! 
I forgot to photograph it BEFORE it played soccer with the baggage handlers, but that’s okay. I think it’ll withstand another trip around LAX’s carousel.
And, yes, I know, it’s not a marketing prop that will yield millions, but when you can’t afford billboard advertising, baby steps, ya know? And it took all of FIVE minutes to laminate that 8 x 10 label with crazy glue, shipping tape and a very hot iron.
Additionally, I inserted these little gems into that TINY pocket …
…where an i.d. card should go, but instead, I slipped TENACIOUS Bitch’s BUSINESS CARDS in there:
YES, I did. Why the hell not? I put SEVEN cards in there, and only FOUR remained in that little pocket upon returning home. Yes, of course, three of them could’ve fallen out.
Either way, during my trek through THREE airports, and standing in line to obtain/return my rental car in L.A., not one but seven or eight different people asked me what the hell my luggage art was all about (okay, sans the HELL, but you get the idea). All of them laughed and accepted my business card. They may NEVER read my blog, but at least I tried, and I think I get an A for originality, at least…
PLUS, if at least ONE of those folks who took my card reads my blog and likes it and mention it to a couple of co-workers, who read it and like it, who then forward the URL for my site to a couple friends, who forward my info AGAIN to their neighbors and so on…then, you have a word-of-mouth chain that could VASTLY increase the number of people reading my posts each day, which, of course will make my memoir just that much more attractive to a publisher…so feel free to make up your own luggage art and give it a whirl. You don’t even have to give me credit for the idea…: (smirk, smirk)…see how nice I can be? So, maybe, I don’t ALWAYS deserve my moniker…okay, maybe, I do TODAY…but anywho…going forward…I shall…
Stop pestering your corner of cyberspace (for now) and go eat dinner or, maybe, wax the cats, depending on whether they try to CHEW on the living room curtains again…
FOREVER YOURS, tHE soon to be JUSTINA BIEBER of BLOGGING…cuz I’m just gonna be everywhere…gas station bathrooms and EVERYTHING, LOL…
Love and chocolate cheesecake-
~TENACIOUS BITCH and her band of truth-spouting hippies…
